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Men can read maps better than women. ‘Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.
The older theory was, marry an older man because they’re more mature. But the new theory is men don’t mature. Marry a younger one.
Don’t ask why I’m divorced until at least the third date. I know you want to know about past relationships but on the first date I’m not ready.
Men are clinging to football on a level we aren’t even aware of.& For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It’s our Alamo.
Don’t talk badly about your ex because if you are going to talk badly about him, then I have no doubt that at some point, you’ll be talking badly about me to some other stranger.
I sealed my Birthday wishes for you in an envelope full of love and respect so that it reaches you and goes straight to your heart. Have a wonderful year ahead.
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, “How can he want me the way I look in the morning?” It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
The problem with most men is they’re assholes. The problem with most women is they put up with those assholes.
A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Men should be saying “I want to become a woman.” The world would be a far better place if more men wanted to become women, than women wanted to become men.